


Yaksokhae Jullae

by pcysgal



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Childhood Promise, Failed Relationships, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Growing Up Together, M/M, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 08:29:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14996867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pcysgal/pseuds/pcysgal
Summary: Yes, time flies, people come and go from one’s life but only the important ones manage to stay in your heart even after they leave, regardless of how long they take to return. Only the important ones manage to come back and put together the pieces they took with them. Only the important ones make it hurt so deeply and make you rejoice so much when you’re finally complete again. Time only serves to open one’s eyes to what’s truly meaningful in life.Promises can be empty; can be taken lightly and even forgotten sometimes. Other promises, though, stick with you and change your life forever.





	Yaksokhae Jullae

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for the 2017 SeBaekScum fic fest. Crossposted on aff

Baekhyun stands in front of his new classmates with fear in his eyes, small body shaking from the knees up. He is usually very friendly and outgoing but being the new kid in a room full of boys and girls who have most likely known each other from the womb is not exactly his idea of a best case scenario.

All those curious eyes focus on him as the teacher pats him on the back and encourages him to introduce himself.

He takes a deep breath and lifts his cute little chin from where it was previously tucked between his hunched shoulders, bracing himself for whatever may come.

“H-hi!” he squeaks, “My name is Byun B-Baekhyun and I’m new in this school, please take care of m-me.”

The class erupts in a loud chorus of ‘hi Baekhyun!’ and he smiles a shy smile. Baekhyun had dreaded changing schools in the middle of the year. Eomma and Appa were so mean! Being a first grader was already hard enough when you knew everyone and had a lot of friends, now he has to start from zero and make friends all over again. But maybe, after a quick glance at some of the kids greeting him in such a friendly way, he thinks it might not be that bad.

Recess brings back all those doubts and fears that had been almost forgotten right to the front of his mind. Will he have to play alone? Will he have to hide under the slide to avoid being teased for having no friends?

Tiny, delicate Baekhyun stands near the swings wrenching the hem of his Spiderman t-shirt with his thin fingers, having as much of a breakdown as a seven year old can have, trying to figure out what to do when he sees another kid – pale and thin – sitting on a bench, playing by himself with a toy robot. He immediately smiles; maybe this boy can understand his struggles, maybe he and this boy can keep each other company. They are both alone anyway.

With a sudden burst of confidence, he takes quick steps and as soon as his short legs can carry him he stands in front of the boy with the widest grin he’s smiled all day long, the one his Eomma says wins him every heart.

“Hi!” his voice is bright when he greets him, along with an excited wave of his pale hands. The boy looks up from his toys and gives Baekhyun the faintest quirk of his pretty pink lips. His face makes him look bored and/or annoyed in general but that trace of a smile has a strange need to hold the boy’s hand surge in the pit of Baekhyun’s tummy. “What’s your name? I’m Baek-”

“I know. I’m Sehun.” Despite being interrupted – which should have annoyed him because Eomma had always told him interrupting people while they talked was rude – he sits next to Sehun and strikes an animated conversation about their favorite cartoons and candies.

By the end of the day, Sehun and Baekhyun promise each other to be the bestest of friends in the whole wide world and Baekhyun does hold Sehun’s hand while waiting for their parents to pick them up.

This turns out to be the first of many promises to be made in their lives.

 

-

 

Elementary school goes by in a blur and before they know it, Hun and Baek are moving to the next stage.

Once again, the first day of middle school is scary but they get by because they’re together and nothing can possibly go wrong when they have each other’s backs.

Classes become more demanding, free time becomes scarcer but these two manage to remain attached to the hip. They become the infamous SeBaek duo.

Baekhyun starts to realize how well Sehun is growing up by the time he is 13. While Baekhyun has always been on the cute, almost feminine side, sometimes even teased for it, Sehun is a different story. Sure he is skinny and gangly but Baekhyun can tell he is on the way to becoming a real looker with his ever bored face, tall body – well, taller than the average for his age – and endearing smiles that seem to be reserved just for him.

This realization poses quite a crisis for Baek. He has a crush on his best friend in the world. It’s not until he’s about to turn 15 that he actually notices that the problem doesn’t lie in the fact that he has a crush on his best friend, but that said best friend is also a boy.

After a lot of teenage angst, countless nights crying in his room and a heartfelt talk with his parents, Baekhyun accepts himself just the way he is and moves on to the second most important crisis: his feelings for Sehun.

It’s nerve wrecking, really. He doesn’t even know if Sehun likes boys, too, and here he is pining after him, his mind and heart perpetually at war, trying his hardest not to stare at his friends with heart eyes every chance he has.

Tired of not knowing, he drops the bomb on Sehun one day while playing street fighter after school. “Hunnie?”

His heartbeat is skyrocketing, his palms sweaty and knees quivering. Gathering the courage to say what he is about to had taken eons and so he just goes for it before he chickens out. Again.

“What would you say if I told you I like boys?” Baekhyun asks after a hum of acknowledgment from his friend. He swallows hard waiting for whatever reaction Sehun might have. His friend is like roulettes these days; his face gives nothing away so you don’t know which number you might get with each spin.

Sehun pauses the game and turns to look at Baekhyun sitting on the floor next to him. With a noncommittal shrug he just says, “I’d welcome you to the club.”

And that was that.

 

-

 

High school opens Baekhyun’s eyes to a new world, a world of parties, different kinds of people and slightly more mature crushes.

At his very first high school party he meets Chanyeol and he is starstruck. Park Chanyeol is hot, and that’s the first time Baekhyun uses that adjective on a person instead of his chocolate. He is tall and lean, with defined arms and legs that go on forever, eyes that twitch when his lips curve in that 1000 megawatt smile and the deepest voice that’s ever caressed Baekhyun’s eardrums. Chanyeol might be the coolest guy ever, at least to Baekhyun who is used to nights playing video games with Sehun, to doing homework together and not much more; he plays drums on a band – as well as piano, guitar and bass – and his hair is fire engine red. It is safe to say that his silly little crush on his best friend is overshadowed by his new minor obsession.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol become friends almost at the speed of light and suddenly it’s not just Hun and Baek. It is Hun and Baek and Yeol now. There is nothing wrong with that, Baekhyun tells himself. Sehun is busier by the day with his dance club and he doesn’t seem to dislike Chanyeol. It all seems to click for the three of them, until Baekhyun decides to confess to Chanyeol, embarrassed and flustered, and all he gets is a sympathetic pat on the head and an ‘I’m sorry, Baek, but I like girls. Hope we can still be friends though?’

They do remain friends, but it takes many afternoons, nights and weekends curled up next to Sehun, a puddle of snot and tears all over his friend’s t-shirt, mountains and mountains of cookie dough ice cream and tissues, as well as heartbreaking wails of ‘why doesn’t he like me?’ for things to go back to normal.

Baekhyun swears he won’t give his heart away so easily anymore.

 

-

 

Senior year sees Baekhyun and Sehun as close as ever, helping each other study for University admission exams, spending almost all their time together.

It only makes sense; nobody – other than Chanyeol – hangs with them. Baekhyun hasn’t allowed himself to even notice anyone else since the Chanyeol fiasco and he is almost sure Sehun hasn’t either. He is damn sure nobody pays that much attention to them anyway, not to Sehun and definitely not to him, at least not from a close distance, always from afar. It’s not like his friend is ugly, on the contrary; as he had predicted back when he was 13, Sehun has grown to be a steamy piece of man meat, but Baekhyun guesses his resting bitch face keeps people away, giving them the impression of being unfriendly and mean. It is their loss because his Sehunnie might just be the sweetest, most caring and thoughtful person he knows – a true French terrier puppy inside the body of a male runway model.

It is kind of a depressing thought, you know, having to give up the hope to find love at such a tender age, but with their record, it might be best for them to accept they are doomed.

Baekhyun wants to be a literature teacher and Sehun an architect. Their aspirations pull them towards different paths; that’s the reason why they apply to different universities, away from each other. They both end up being accepted in their first choice schools in Seoul but on opposite sides of the city which makes it impossible for them to share an apartment as they had planned at first, and will maybe – definitely – keep them from seeing each other as often as they would have liked.

With their impending separation, they meet one night at the local park, the place where they had spent almost the entirety of their childhood together, running back and forth, holding hands. Baekhyun brings a blanket and Sehun a couple cans of coke. It is nice, familiar yet slightly depressing. They will no longer be SeBaek; they will be Sehun and Baekhyun, each on their own, with new friends and new lives that might not always fit together or even coincide.

They are both lying on the grass, on the blanket Baekhyun brought in his backpack, hands clasped with one another and fingers twined. Baekhyun cries a couple of silent tears. This is the end of life as he knows it, as he cherishes it, as he thought it would always be.

Sehun squeezes his hand once before rolling to his side and draping his free arm around Baekhyun’s middle. It’s just the two of them under the stars, a day before they separate and move to their respective dorms in their respective schools. He smiles one of those special only-for-Baek smiles and Baekhyun’s world stops; how long will it take for him to see that smile again?

“Hey Hunnie, let’s make a promise,” Baekhyun blinks away the remaining tears on his eyelashes and returns Sehun’s smile. He holds his pinky finger to his best friend and says, “Whatever happens, let’s always be best friends. Let’s not allow anything to keep us away from each other. We will always make time for each other every week even if we are swarmed with books and assignments. Promise me?”

Sehun’s reply is whispered against his forehead when he leans onto him and kisses between his eyebrows. “I promise.”

More stubborn tears make their way out of Baekhyun’s left eye, sliding across his nose bridge, to the other side of his face where they meet those coming from his right eye and leave a wet trail down his temple. He has always been a crier.

Sehun holds him tighter, and it’s as though his heart is being squeezed along with his waist. He will miss his friend. He will miss this sense of peace he gets when his Hunnie hugs him and all his problems go away. Soon his Hunnie will find a new best friend and he will be replaced.

“Baek?” Sehun whispers after a couple minutes holding Baekhyun to his chest. “Promise me something else?”

Baekhyun smiles melancholically at the uncertainty in his friend’s voice. If only he knew he would do just about anything for him. “What is that?”

“If we are both still single and hopeless by the time we are 30, let’s get married,” Baekhyun smiles again and it is not as sad this time. “Promise me?”

The answer to that question is so simple he doesn’t need to think about it. “I promise.”

Right now, the prospect of spending his life with his Hunnie is more than appealing and he can only pray this is a promise they can both keep.

 

-

 

University for Baekhyun is amazing. If he had to make a likes and dislikes list about his college days, it would be really unbalanced – the only thing on the dislikes column: not seeing his Hunnie on a daily basis.

Baekhyun and Sehun speak every day by either text or phone calls. They do their very best to go out together or visit each other every weekend. They do their best. They try hard but somehow they start to drift apart and before they realize it, they are not as constant in one another’s lives as they would like to be. They don’t lose contact 100 percent but with exams and projects and all nighters it gets difficult.

That spark in Baekhyun’s heart with Sehun’s name gets dimmer and dimmer, colder and colder as his memories of Sehun’s voice blur in his mind from lack of reminder and those promises they made keep being pushed aside in order to reach goals that don’t necessarily include the other.

Baekhyun thinks it’s sad. He especially thinks about it at night, alone in the darkness of his dorm room, when nothing but his thoughts can be heard in the silence of the real world. This is when he reminisces, when he picks up his phone and drops it on his bed next to him only to pick it up again, considering texting the friend who hasn’t contacted him in so long – not properly anyway because simple ‘hey, hope you’re fine’ messages don’t count. In the end he doesn’t text him. He blames his pride. Maybe Sehun is the same. Maybe Sehun has better things to do than to grab his phone and call this clingy guy who used to be his friend in high school because he probably has much better things to do now.

He doesn’t ask him, terrified of the possible answer. The idea remains though and that is how Baekhyun puts himself out there. That’s how he makes it his goal to find someone better as well.

That is how SeBaek finally become Sehun and Baekhyun, each one on their own.

 

-

 

Jongin comes like the wind; unexpected but absolutely welcomed. He also resembles the wind in that he makes Baekhyun tremble with just a light graze.

The first time Baekhyun sees Jongin he is walking into his favorite coffee shop one morning before his first class of the day. He is fiddling with his phone on his right hand, holding a British literature textbook in the crook of his left elbow, so distracted that he almost falls on his ass when he bumps into broad shoulders and a tiny waist clad in a feather gray cardigan. Luckily, he manages to only stumble and recover his balance before embarrassing himself to death. His beloved book isn’t so lucky, however. It falls heavily onto the hardwood floor, sheets of paper with important notes scattering all over the place, beckoning strangers – other than Mr. Long Legs – to step all over them.

Baekhyun is slowly losing his shit. He is about to give Long Legs a half hearted apology and a more sincere thank you for having the decency of picking up his book and everything else when he really looks at him. The first thing he notices is that the guy is tall. He is immediately reminded of Sehun and he still can’t decide if it’s a good or bad thing. Then he sees his face and wow, talk about glowing. The guy is smiling at him, his eyes almost closing cutely, his pink plush lips quirked up.

For some reason he can’t quite understand right now, Baekhyun wants to smile too, he feels like such radiance can’t be answered with anything short from radiant as well. So, he does, he smiles in the way everyone says he looks so adorable and Long Legs blushes the most subtle of pinks – especially dusted against the cinnamon skin covering his cheekbones and the tips of his ears.

“Uh, here’s your book…” Long Legs says, with his deep voice, half gentle, half shy. He smiles again just when he stretches his arms to offer Baekhyun his book back and Baekhyun would be blatantly lying if he said he wasn’t a little bit enamored.

“Thank you so much! I am so sorry for bumping into you. I guess this is what happens when you have no ability to multitask. Thank god you weren’t holding your coffee already!” Baekhyun replies. His voice is light and friendly. He decides that making jokes at his own expense is totally worth it when Cute Face – Long Legs’ new nickname as of now – smiles once more, wider this time, unabashed.

“It’s okay. Uh… my name is Jongin. Nice to meet you.”

Baekhyun likes Cute Face’s – Jongin’s – voice more with each sentence he pronounces. His heart beats faster and he can’t wipe the dopey smile off his own face. He replies with a soft ‘Baekhyun’ right when people in line behind them start to complain and ask Jongin to hurry up and order because they have things to do and places to be.

They end up sitting together at a table, talking for hours about everything and nothing. Baekhyun doesn’t go to his class but he figures it’s alright because he’s got himself a date.

 

-

 

Jongin takes Baekhyun ice skating, which should have been a horrible date because Baekhyun hates physical activities and being cold but it’s actually really nice since Jongin kneels before him to help him tie his skates and holds his hand all the while. He falls on his butt a couple times but Jongin is always there to help him up, with a big smile on his face and surprisingly warm hands.

About an hour or so after fun – but painful – skating they have hot chocolate in a nearby café, sitting close together in a cozy booth. Baekhyun had little to nothing to compare this date with but he is willing to comply that this one was quite wonderful.

They walk together back to Baekhyun’s dorm and the date gets a thousand times better when Jongin leans in and pecks him on the lips – like the gentleman he is – before saying good night.

Things evolve positively from there. They spend so much time together that it feels odd when they are apart.

They date for about a year, smoothly and happily.

Or so Baekhyun thinks.

He is trying to somewhat clean his dorm when Jongin comes. He opens the door and slides inside the room without knocking. This in itself is absolutely normal; Baekhyun does the same when he goes to Jongin’s. What is not normal, however, is the way Jongin wraps his arms around Baekhyun and dives straight to his lips for an open mouthed kiss, right from the beginning, hands roaming up and down his back before settling on his butt and groping desperately.

Baekhyun frowns into the kiss and with all the strength he’s got in his rather small body he manages to push Jongin away. He looks positively ravenous, standing in front of Baekhyun, eyes burning holes all over his face. Jongin takes a step to get closer to him again as Baekhyun crosses his arms over his chest, trying to hide the fact that his hands are shaking from a mix of fear and indignation.

Jongin groans and rakes his hands through his honey brown hair in clear exasperation and Baekhyun is confused. This has never happened before. As far as Baekhyun is concerned they have a great thing going on. But then Jongin speaks.

“I’m getting tired of your shit, you know,” what?? If he was confused before, now he’s completely lost.

“What do you mean?”

Jongin laughs and starts pacing. His laugh is nothing like his usual, bubbling merrily from deep in his chest. This one sounds bitter, reproaching for some reason. “Really? You really don’t know?”

At Baekhyun’s silent negative he seems to lose it completely, “you are a fucking prude, that’s what I mean. We’ve been together for what, a year? How many times have we had sex? No, that’s too easy,” he laughs again, still bitter and Baekhyun’s heart breaks a little, “how many times have we gone beyond making out? How many times have we made out on a bed? How many fucking times have you touched my dick? Huh?”

Wow. He knew this would happen sooner or later but it still hurts like a bitch. He thought Jongin wouldn’t mind waiting until he was ready, that he would give him space and understand him. Baekhyun had never even gone on a date before him. How did he expect him to not make a big deal out of the level of intimacy Jongin seems to be demanding now?

Baekhyun lets Jongin vent all his frustration. He listens to the sound of Jongin’s angry voice and his heart cracking at the same time but he doesn’t say a word. It’s not worth it. Nothing he says will make a difference because he refuses to apologize for wanting to do things at his own pace and he absolutely will not give into Jongin’s pettiness.

They end up breaking up that day and the year or so worth of happy memories and experiences is replaced by this single moment of sadness.

 

-

 

As time goes by, Baekhyun lets go of Jongin. He lets go of what they had, of all the smiles they shared together, the laughs, the kisses, the touches. He lets go of the pain that fractured his heart, slowly trying to patch it back up. It’s easier said than done but he manages.

Thankfully, they were pursuing different majors and didn’t have to cross paths many times. It also helps that Baekhyun decided never to step foot in the café where everything started.

He lets go but doesn’t really forget because he’s a strong believer that your experiences – whether good or bad – shape you up and make you become who you are. There will always be a part of him that will care for Jongin no matter what and he wishes him to have a happy life.

With this mentality he moves on with his life. He still thinks about Sehun alone at night but they haven’t talked in almost two years. He misses him dearly yet his pride doesn’t allow him to attempt to approach him first. It’s during these times that Baekhyun smiles alone, laughs or cries, reminiscing and feeling his heart speed up at the mere memory of his best friend. He wonders if Sehun misses him, if he remembers their promises. It is only momentary though; those were childish promises he shouldn’t really expect to be kept.

So he goes to classes, studies diligently and gets good grades. He feels his life is getting back on track when he finds it again.

He meets Jongdae through a common friend – Kyungsoo – after junior year finals. He and his friends decide to go out the night after their finals are over to have samgyeopsal and soju, nothing out of the ordinary. Baekhyun is already seated at the table with Lu Han, Yifan and Junmyeon when Kyungsoo arrives with an angel by his side, in Baekhyun’s humble opinion anyway.

Jongdae is as small as Baekhyun, and when he’s all soft curves and delicate features, Jongdae is sharp edges and pronounced cheekbones. His lips might just be the most enthralling thing Baekhyun has seen, especially when he smiles. Baekhyun can’t help to get a little flustered. After Jongin happened, he’d been so focused on his studies that he hadn’t bothered to get his nose out of his books but fate has its ways to make him surrender.

Both men take a seat and immediately engage everyone in conversation. The meat is delicious, the soju strong and with each shot he finds less will to refrain from staring at the way Jongdae’s lips curl at the corners.

“You can stop staring now, sweetie, you’ll get cross-eyed.” He tells Baekhyun with a teasing grin, “You should take a picture, it’ll last longer, you know.”

Jongdae looks like a cat – a very attractive cat with a nice voice and a ton of sass.

Baekhyun may have just met his match.

 

-

 

He sees Jongdae often after meeting him for the first time. He is a constant in their group outings and Baekhyun finds himself crushing harder on the other guy with every time they cross paths. It’s one of those crushes where every single thing reminds you of the object of your affection; soju reminds him of Jongdae’s lips curling around the edge of a shot glass, his chopsticks at home remind him of Jongdae’s pretty fingers, his morning coffee reminds him of Jongdae’s uninhibited laughs – he still can’t understand why, those things don’t really relate.

It lasts exactly three months. They get along wonderfully, like two peas in a pod and things couldn’t be any sweeter, except that Jongdae likes someone else.

Baekhyun discovers this at a party he was reluctant to go to in the first place. In hindsight he guesses his gut was telling him to spare himself the hurt. He is cradling a red plastic cup full of something he still hasn’t figured out, standing near a wall overviewing the entire living room where people are dancing – or dry humping, you pick. He doesn’t bother to suppress the sigh that leaves his lips because the loud music will drown it anyway and it’s not like he’s got anybody near him who could possibly hear just how bored he is.

Suddenly he catches a glimpse of the smile that has been haunting him for months now and he smiles back. Maybe he should go find Jongdae and cling to him for the rest of the night; god knows it’s a better option than staying glued to the wall watching others have fun. He ventures through the throng with a clear mission, taking as steady steps as the crowd allows him. He can already see Jongdae sitting on an armchair, his side profile as beautiful as it’s always been and he tries to hurry.

His heart stops in its track – as well as Baekhyun’s feet – when he gets close enough to see Jongdae sitting but not on the armchair. He is sitting across Junmyeon’s lap, legs crossed and arms wrapped around Junmyeon’s neck, lips dangerously close to his improvised seat’s ear. Junmyeon has one hand circling Jongdae’s waist and the other poised on his hip, fingers splayed over Jongdae’s clothed left ass cheek. They look cozy, comfortable, intimate, and Baekhyun can hear the ever so familiar sound of his heart breaking over the music.

He figures it’s his fault, again, for letting himself fall in the clutches of attraction. He should have learned his lesson by now.

Baekhyun decides to pick whatever’s left of his ego and go home. He walks slowly, letting the night breeze wash away his sorrow. If only it were that easy.

As always, when he is alone at night his brain won’t cooperate and starts remembering things – people – that should be buried deep in the confines of his mind. He only notices he is crying when his cheeks feel colder than the rest of his exposed skin. He laughs wryly. Figures. What ever happened to rooting for the underdog? Fate apparently didn’t get the memo.

 

-

 

Senior year doesn’t leave him enough time to even think about relationships. His thesis consumes his days and nights equally. He loses weight, dyes his hair a dark brown to avoid worrying about retouching his roots and focuses on what will be the start of real life.

Time flies and before he knows it he is defending his thesis and graduating with flying colors. It’s such a joyous moment for him; his parents and older brother come to see him get his diploma. It couldn’t be anymore perfect… Except it could. There is one person he thought would be here with him no matter what. He misses him with all his heart. He tried to call once or twice tossing his pride to the side but it had resulted unsuccessful. Apparently Sehun changed his phone number. That’s how life is, he guesses. People only hold on to their childhood friendships in movies and cheesy dramas. In reality, life happens and ties are cut despite people’s disposition and efforts.

So, he keeps going. He gets a job teaching Literature in high school and moves into a better apartment only six months later. Everything improves. His life revolves around his job but that’s okay because, after so many failed attempts, he is kind of discouraged to go out there and fulfill his emotional needs.

He keeps in touch with his college friends. They meet once a month to share experiences and drinks. Yifan landed an unexpected job as an interpreter for the UN. He and Kyungsoo, who finally got together after years of begging on Yifan’s side, are quite the power couple; Kyungsoo is Sous Chef in Spazio, a high end Italian bistro in Hongdae and they live together in a beautiful apartment; Baekhyun sort of envies them. Luhan coaches a professional soccer team and refuses to abandon his sought-after-bachelor life. One of these days he will meet someone and fall so hard he won’t know what hit him. Junmyeon and Jongdae moved in together soon after they started dating; Junmyeon works for his father’s conglomerate and Jongdae has a small music school for underprivileged children. They are still going strong even though Junmyeon’s family almost disowned him when he came out, hand in hand with Jongdae in the most unapologetic of ways.

He is the only one with no stories to tell, with no anecdotes or vain everyday adventures. He still smiles because everything is alright even when he is called a workaholic. His work is wonderful anyway; kids respect him and he gets to teach them about the thing he loves the most. What more could he ask for?

There is, however, one thing his heart wants to ask from life.

 

-

 

Winter has been relentless this year. The cold is biting; the breeze feels like tiny icicles piercing his skin and the snow makes it impossible to get to work on time. Baekhyun hates driving on snow but he sucks it up and gets in his car almost two hours early on a Friday morning. He won’t risk another tardy.

Everything is going fine, his coffee tastes amazing, his car stereo is playing softly in the background and he hums to whatever song is on now as his fingers tap the wheel. He must be going way too slow because he can hear honking from the cars behind but he doesn’t care, he won’t die because of speeding on frozen roads, thank you very much.

Everything is smooth until he feels the steering wheel vibrating more than usual. An ominous feeling settles in his stomach, something like dread, as he pulls over and gets out of the driver’s seat to examine his tires. Great. He’s got a damn flat in the middle of the coldest winter in the history or time. What’s best is that he is completely useless in situations like this one.

He is getting ready to call for help when a second car pulls over behind his own. The snow is starting to dampen his clothes and he is ready to curse the world to hell and back – or maybe the arctic because hell is too warm – but a man is coming out of the second car heading his way with a cute little smile and he suddenly thinks there’s still some goodness left in mankind.

Baekhyun observes the stranger, trying to suppress his awe because the man is gorgeous. He looks like nothing Baekhyun’s ever seen; his eyes are big and kittenish under a pair of thick upturned eyebrows and his lips are pink and pouty. The guy is just as short as Baekhyun is but who needs to be tall with a face like that?

“Hey, is everything okay?”

The man’s voice is gentle, soft and soothing like aloe vera on burned skin. It would have been more than enough to make him like the guy even without seeing his face.

Baekhyun blushes under the man’s scrutiny. In spite of the clear concern he sees in his eyes, he still feels flustered, as though he could stare right into his soul. The stranger arches an eyebrow and Baekhyun remembers he still hasn’t replied. He must look stupid.

“Uh… yeah… I mean… got a flat tire and… uh…”

He scratches his cheek in embarrassment. The man in front of him, strong and beautiful, must think he’s such a loser. What kind of man can’t change a damn tire? But he smiles, all small teeth and pink gums and Baekhyun might have had a tiny stroke.

“Get the spare, I’ll get the jack.”

In record time Baekhyun has his spare tire in place and the flat one in the trunk. The guy returns from putting his jack away and stands in front of him with the same smile he had before the whole ordeal, a tiny bead of sweat sliding down his temple to his cheek and Baekhyun blushes ever darker when he realizes he’s following the drop on its way down the guy’s flawless skin.

“Thank you so much! You literally just made my day!”

The smile gets impossibly wider. Baekhyun is blinded.

“No problem. I’m Minseok by the way,” the no longer stranger says as he extends his hand for Baekhyun to shake. He does, shakily taking it – he will forever blame the cold for his trembling limb. He just wishes it wasn’t winter so he could feel the skin of Minseok’s palm touching his own without the barrier of their gloves.

“Baekhyun,” he responds. They exchange some more pleasantries until he realizes he has somewhere to be and reluctantly departs from Minseok.

He sulks all the way to work because what are the chances of him reencountering this beautiful man in a city as big as Seoul. He will never see him again, nor will he ever hear that voice.

Twenty minutes later he parks in front of his school and takes a couple of disheartened breaths before climbing out of the car and hurrying into the building. He goes directly to the teacher’s lounge craving a second cup of coffee to warm up his almost hypothermic body. He opens the door and finds the room empty except for a man sitting at one of the round tables, sipping coffee from a sapphire blue mug while reading the newspaper – he must be the only person alive to not read the news online.

From his spot still at the door he can only see the man’s profile, dark hair parted in the middle, eyes down and legs crossed at the knee. Not bad he thinks, wondering why he hadn’t seen this man until now.

He closes the door and the man looks up at him, grinning from ear to ear when his eyes focus on Baekhyun’s face. His heart stops.

“Minseok?”

 

-

 

Who would have thought Minseok was his sunbae with that baby face? Apparently, he had been on a pretty serious car crash and had needed a couple months to recover fully. He teaches calculus and Baekhyun finds that incredibly sexy – who knows why, he hates numbers.

Minseok is sweet, amazingly intelligent, thoughtful and really, really, really hot. It might be a problem, working alongside someone this attractive but Baekhyun finds it hard to care when Minseok comes to work wearing skinny jeans and plaid shirts rolled up to his elbows, completed with a bowtie and Harry Potter glasses; if you asked Baekhyun his concept of a sexy nerd he’d say Minseok without a single doubt. It doesn’t help that half the student body and teaching staff also crush on him. It’s just too hard not to drool all over his coffee mug in the mornings.

Baekhyun and his sunbae hit it off quickly. They become friends in the blink of an eye. Late afternoons after work turn into ddeokbokki and soju or sushi and sake. Lonely weekends turn into all day visits to grade papers and exams together. Smiles and shy laughs turn into hand holding and rushed kisses between classes. It feels so natural that soon Baekhyun is inviting Minseok to one of his monthly get-togethers with his friends.

Again, it’s simply natural the way Minseok fits into his group of friends. He has something in common with all of them, at least one thing that makes them all relate and Baekhyun feels like he might have finally found someone worthy of his heart.

 

-

 

“Lu called me this morning,” Minseok says conversationally from the driver seat on their way to Baekhyun’s apartment after a long day of trying to control teenagers. Baekhyun only hums in acknowledgment. It has become a common occurrence that his friends – now Minseok’s as well – call his boyfriend for whatever reason. “He wanted to invite me to his home to watch a Premier League match this weekend…”

He doesn’t find anything weird with that invitation. It’s two men watching football anyway. Not being invited is perfectly understandable as well considering he knows as much about football as he does about quantum physics. “Is that so? Have fun, then, Minnie.”

They get home after a couple more minutes of traffic and a detour to pick up some Chinese takeout. Dinner is quiet, comfortably so; months of practically living together have made them get over the need to fill every silence with meaningless conversation.

Baekhyun doesn’t think about Sehun anymore, maybe only once or twice in all the time he’s been Minseok’s boyfriend and he is content with that. He is committed to his relationship and wants to respect the trust Minseok has given him as he is sure his boyfriend does with his own trust.

“Come here baby,” Minseok purrs into his ear as his hand, soft yet strong, glides down his naked chest, grazing a nipple with his fingers on the way, and then settles on his crotch. His bedroom is dark and the bed is already warm with their body heat.

Baekhyun bites his bottom lip because that breathy voice and the teasing touches never fail to get his temperature rising in record time. He lets himself be touched wherever Minseok fancies as his own hand pulls at the waistband of his boyfriend’s pajama pants to get them out of the way.

He is already getting hard in Minseok’s hand, panting heavily and whining for more, please. Sex with Minseok is always a surprise; you never know what you’ll get until you are at it. It all depends on his mood and he loves it. Tonight, since his entrance hasn’t been touched at all, he guesses he’ll get to top. He can’t wait.

Minseok straddles his hips after rummaging his bedside table draw for condoms and lube. He kisses him dirty and wet; one hand cupping his cheek and the other working on getting himself stretched enough to take Baekhyun. He can’t see almost anything despite his eyes having already adjusted some to the darkness but he can feel the way Minseok rolls his hips torn between pushing back towards his hand or forward onto Baekhyun’s hard cock to get some more friction.

Baekhyun’s hands are everywhere; in situations like this he goes back to being a hormonal teenager who doesn’t know where to touch or grab because he wants to feel everything at once at the risk of missing something if he doesn’t pay attention.

It’s maddening how slow Minseok impales himself on Baekhyun, hands poised on the headboard for leverage. Baekhyun rolls his eyes and moans loudly with the first cant of his boyfriend’s hips and the sounds keep on coming when Minseok grips the headboard tighter and picks up speed, bouncing on Baekhyun’s cock with intent.

Minseok comes first as he always does when he’s bottoming, teeth clamped onto Baekhyun’s earlobe and white staining both their chests and bellies. Soon follows Baekhyun, unable to resist the fluttering of Minseok’s insides with the force of his orgasm.

After getting properly cleaned up and snuggling as close as two bodies can get, he suddenly thinks about Sehun. Is he happy? Is he with someone? Is he okay? When was his first time? How many people has he slept with? He thinks about how his life would have been had they remained in touch, would they have gotten together? Would they have kept their promise? Soon he shakes the thoughts away, it’s like beating a dead horse, he guesses. Water under the bridge. Minseok’s soft breath against his neck reminds him he has a present and possibly a future in his arms so he shouldn’t be dwelling on the past.

 

-

 

Baekhyun doesn’t think anything of Lu Han inviting Minseok to watch a football match, not even when Minseok packs a change of clothes into a duffle bag and slings it over his shoulder before leaving the apartment – it’s English football and the match must be in the middle of the night. He drives Baekhyun to his own place and kisses him goodbye quickly, then he drives away once he has stepped out of the car.

The night rolls slowly; he is so used to having Minseok around that when he’s alone he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He haves some ramyeon for dinner as he grades last week’s quizzes. He watches a movie for a couple of minutes until he falls asleep on the couch, snuggling Minseok’s pillow.

Come morning Baekhyun is rested and smiling. He grabs his phone and sends Minseok a quick good morning text and hops into the shower. He gets dressed and makes some grilled cheese sandwiches. It’s early – around 7 am – but he wants to surprise Lu Han and Minseok with breakfast.

All the way to Lu Han’s he hums along to the radio, eager to see Minseok after his short absence. He reaches the house and rings the doorbell, laughing softly with the mental picture of a sleepy Minseok grinning at him and kissing him still with morning breath.

The door opens and he is received by an almost naked Lu Han, wide eyed and gaping, “Baek… what are you, uh, what are you doing here?”

“Hi Lu!” He continues smiling and invites himself in, dropping the bag with the sandwiches on the coffee table “I brought breakfast!”

His smile lasts exactly ten more seconds because that’s when Minseok walks into the living room wearing the shirt Baekhyun got Lu Han for his last birthday. With nothing else.

“Xiao Lu, come back to bed, it’s cold without you, baby… Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun’s hands are also cold; his whole body is to be perfectly honest. It doesn’t take a genius to put the pieces together. He swallows the lump caught in his throat and without another word leaves the house.

His apartment feels emptier than he remembers it being when he left earlier, or maybe it’s him that’s empty. Minseok doesn’t come home Saturday night and Baekhyun cries himself to sleep. Sunday sees him immersing himself in the pages of The Tell-Tale Heart, more out of comfort provided by the unchanging things in his life than out of entertainment. His cheeks are wet and his chest aches terribly but he keeps reading and reading until the words get jumbled and blurry and he cries his heartbreak out loud because he can’t hold it in anymore.

His cheeks are dry when the door opens and Minseok appears in his line of sight. He has the decency to look guilty, at least.

“Baby…”

Baekhyun is tempted to fall for the endearment – his heart is weak after all – but then he remembers the way that same name had been given to someone who wasn’t him, someone he considered a brother, and now he’s angry.

“Don’t you dare call me that, you cheating bastard.”

There is no explanation, only soft spoken apologies as Minseok packs up his stuff and leaves Baekhyun’s apartment with remorse still painted all over his face. Good, he thinks. If that remorse makes him feel half as miserable as Baekhyun feels then he figures it’s punishment enough.

Sleep doesn’t come to him that night and he looks like a walking dead man making his way into the school Monday morning. He dreads seeing Minseok but it’s inevitable, so he just braces himself and enters the teacher’s lounge.

Minseok looks good, as always, he looks like he had a repairing sleep and Baekhyun curses him in his head. He sits at a table as far away from Minseok as he can and sips from his scalding coffee. The silence is unbearable – such a contrast from those silent moments they shared until just four days ago – and it’s broken only when Minseok pulls a chair to sit next to Baekhyun.

“I know this is no excuse but, I was going to tell you…” of course, because that would have made it better. “It just happened, you know, we didn’t plan it. Lu is really sorry, too.”

Baekhyun laughs then, dry and bitter, “Let that asshole apologize himself, why don’t you, if he ever has the balls to do it.”

With that he stands up and picks up his things to exit the room. His head pounds with every step he takes but at least he kept his pride intact, he reasons.

Junmyeon and Jongdae pick up the pieces and slowly but surely patch Baekhyun back up. It takes time but he recovers.

Three months later he hears from Yifan that Lu Han and Minseok are moving to Beijing together. It stings but he’s not sure anymore if it’s because of Minseok or Lu Han. His former friend never apologized, never even spoke to him again after the incident and it’s a jab to the heart realizing that their friendship was so meaningless to Lu Han that he won’t even try to salvage it.

He lets it go; it’s not worth it to spend his time mulling over the inevitable.

 

-

 

After his 30th birthday Baekhyun decides to give himself a break from the dating scene – how many breaks has he taken already? He’s had enough excitement to last him for a lifetime. He will only focus on his job and his friends and if attraction knocks on his door again, then he will see when it happens, but he does his best to avoid putting himself in risky situations willingly.

As usual, work consumes him and he prefers it that way; the less time he has to wallow in his depressing love life – or lack thereof – the better. He hates to admit it but Minseok and Luhan left a big scar in his heart and he isn’t sure how to heal it. All he knows is that love is a backstabbing bitch and it’s about time he starts putting up stronger walls around himself to keep harm away.

His friends notice how considerably dimmer his eyes are, how his smiles don’t reach his eyes, not quite, how his laughter sounds hollow and emotionless. They know he is putting up a front, wearing a seemingly happy mask, but they know that’s just what it is, a front. Baekhyun knows they know. That is why he tries to distance himself from them, only temporarily, only until he can show them sincere grins and happiness so they don’t worry about him. If only he could flip a switch in his head and forget about every painful memory that’s ever haunted him.

 

-

 

Monday is by far his least favorite day of the week and he is sitting at his desk as his students work on a group essay to be handed at the end of the class period. Ah, Shakespeare… he remembers falling in love with literature after reading his 18th sonnet around the same age his students are. He remembers being so moved by it that he couldn’t stop reading more and more of his work.

Baekhyun smiles as he sees the different reactions to it on the kids’ faces: they go from annoyed, to bored to fascinated, some scribbling fast, others tapping their pencils on their desks.

Suddenly he is reminded of Sehun and his hatred towards literature, of his blank face as Baekhyun shared his new found passion for the first time, of his ‘sure Baek, this is awesome. Not’, of the warmth their friendship made him feel. It seems like it’s been an entire lifetime since then. Suddenly he feels suffocated. Suddenly he needs to breathe. Suddenly his heart is aching more than ever. Suddenly he even hears Sehun’s voice as he steps out of his classroom.

He runs, as fast as he can, not stopping until he’s outdoors, until he doesn’t feel constricted anymore. His breathing is fast and ragged, his skin covered in cold sweat. Baekhyun is doubled in half, holding his weight with his hands on his knees, trying to pop open the top buttons of his shirt when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Baek…? Is that- is that you?”

This time the voice sounds too real to be a mere figment of his hopeful – or masochistic – imagination. It’s too clear to be a memory, too different and yet the same.

Slowly, he straightens up and turns around to see a face he didn’t think he’d see again. Baekhyun is frozen on his spot, assaulted with old – and persistent – feelings. That face is too familiar; the eyes and lips all bringing back memories he’d thought he’d buried. Sehun is grown up, though, a complete adult with a sharp jaw and broader shoulders, with a long torso and equally long legs.

Baekhyun’s eyes refuse to move away from Sehun and his heart refuses to stop stuttering. He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want Sehun to see him so broken. He doesn’t want to feel so soon again. He needs to go. He can’t face Sehun.

His eyes are starting to water when he spins on his heels and runs to his car not registering the desperate way in which Sehun calls for him to please, stop and come back. Without thinking of anything else he gets in and starts driving with no destination in mind, just the need to put enough distance between Sehun and him to make his pounding heart relax. Such treacherous body.

Sehun is back.

Sehun is back and he looks so well, like time hadn’t really passed for him, like all those years without any contact had only grazed him with the most delicate of feathers and it hurts. It hurts so badly to see how much the person he has needed for so long has been perfectly fine without him, probably didn’t even missed him once.

Sehun is back to see Baekhyun at his worst.

Sehun is back and Baekhyun wishes he had stayed and hugged him because maybe Sehun is happy without him in his life and maybe he doesn’t care but Baekhyun is weak and selfish and he remembers how it felt like to have his cheek pressed against that warm, broad chest, arms wrapped around a lean torso, Sehun’s cheek poised on the top of his head and he craves it again.

Baekhyun is so pathetic.

 

-

 

Baekhyun spends the week after The Encounter with a knot in his throat. He walks the halls of the school immersed in complete paranoia, eyes nervously glancing everywhere, dreading the possibility of bumping into Sehun again.

It’s stupid, really. When did he become a walking contradiction? He is desperate to see his former best friend once more, to hug him, talk to him, pick up where they left off, but at the same time he fears he might not be what Sehun remembers. What if they’ve become so different from each other, from their old selves? What if their paths have drifted so far away from one another’s that they could stretch for miles and never be more than perfect parallel lines?

The thought is scary to say the least. Seeing Sehun after all these years has rekindled the spark of hope inside Baekhyun. Maybe they could be best friends again; even if there’s a small chance – they will more likely not have anything in common anymore – the idea of losing him terrifies him.

 

-

 

The weekend starts as usual; alone at home on a Friday night, grading quizzes, preparing the following week’s material. He has cup ramyeon for dinner and drinks two beers while his reading glasses slide down the bridge of his nose, eyes tired and heavy from focusing on mostly unintelligible handwriting. He may have to start deducting points for legibility and orthography. An amused smile curves his lips; how many of his students might flunk his subject for not writing appropriately?

God, I’m so sad. Baekhyun thinks as he realizes his life has become so monotonous he doesn’t even remember the last time he went out. Even meaningless things as fucking orthography on weekly quizzes are somewhat exciting to him now.

Sleep is ephemeral, dreams scarce; nothing new.

Saturday comes after what feels like decades of nighttime for Baekhyun. He makes himself a cup of coffee to try and shake off the exhaustion from his body. He is pouring more sugar than necessary into his mug when he hears the buzz of his doorbell. He frowns, turning from the kitchen counter to glance at the door. Who could it be? Anyone who could possibly be visiting would a) not come at ass o’clock in the morning and, b) never come unannounced.

He drags his feet towards the front door and swings it open without checking first. In hindsight, he should have checked, he should have reconsidered every damn decision he’s made in his life that brought him to that very moment. The door opens and the person he is least – or not at all – expecting stands on the other side, tall and handsome and glowing while Baekhyun, on the other hand, looks like a train wreck with bags under his eyes, face unwashed, hair tousled – not in the sexy way but in the I-just-rolled-out-of-bed-and-haven’t-brushed-my-hair-ever kind of way – wearing the same pajamas he’s worn all week, with the holes and all, morning breath deadly enough to poison a person. Life’s amazing, yes.

Baekhyun’s eyes are so wide he fears they might fall out of their orbits for a moment. If he hadn’t wanted to face Sehun that day they first reencountered, now he definitely doesn’t, but it’s too late; he is here, he’s already seen him, it would be extremely rude to slam the door against his nose and sink onto the floor cursing the world for giving him such terrible luck, right?

“Uh, hey… Can I- uh- can I come in?”

Yes, too late.

“Sure,” Baekhyun is proud of how little his voice quavers considering his nerves are about to break and he might have a stroke. Just a tiny one, though. He moves aside to allow Sehun into his apartment. The man looks astonishing in faded jeans, a white t-shirt and a yellow cardigan. He stops a couple meters inside the door after stepping out of his shoes. He looks unsure, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, fidgeting, as though waiting for permission to do anything. “Come in, make yourself at home, I guess,” Baekhyun signals to his living room with a hand so Sehun gets the idea. He does, and soon he is sitting on the couch, rubbing his palms against his denim clad thighs. “Let me just- uh- be right back.”

He rushes to his bedroom, quickly raids his closet for something nice – but not overly so, he doesn’t want to look like he’s trying too hard – to wear. He goes for jeans and an oversized t-shirt. He throws it on himself and runs to the bathroom to brush his teeth and try to look at least normal.

In record time he is stepping out of his bedroom to find Sehun in the same position he left him, except now he is staring at him with an expression he is not sure what it means. And then he smiles, small and bashful and utterly adorable. This is his Hunnie, right here.

“That shirt is mine.” Sehun says. Baekhyun looks down and realizes that it is indeed Sehun’s old Limp Bizkit shirt. The mind plays you tricks when you least expect them.

“Uh, yeah, I know, I didn’t- I mean-” his stuttering is annoying. He is an adult, he shouldn’t be so nervous over meeting an old friend.

But Baekhyun knows it’s more than that. He knows he has been grieving a loss all these years, he has been keeping his heart in relative reclusion, and he has been trying to date while harboring feelings for this person in front of him. It’s useless to try and deny it. His past relationships have failed maybe – probably – because he was already taken without even accepting it. Maybe it wasn’t them, maybe it was him.

Sehun chuckles softly and his eyes crinkle at the corners in the cutest way. He should be paying attention to something else. “It’s okay.”

“What are you doing here?” He doesn’t mean to sound annoyed but for some reason that’s exactly how it comes out of his mouth. He is not angry, he is surprised. Sehun seems to deflate at that, lips pursing before replying.

“I wanted to talk to you. I want to explain myself.” He looks determined.

“After what, ten years? What is there to explain, really,” Baekhyun crosses his arms like a petulant child, “you forgot about boring old Baekhyun and found better friends. It’s quite simple; I don’t see the need to explain anything.”

God, why is he such a baby sometimes? Sehun doesn’t look amused, neither does he look guilty though.

“Listen to me Byun Baekhyun,” he starts saying, voice steady and confident, “there hasn’t been a single moment I haven’t thought about you in all these years,” Baekhyun searches his eyes and finds absolute honesty. What happened, then? His face might ask as much because Sehun elaborates. “My parents found out I’m gay; they cut me off and told me they didn’t want to have anything to do with a disgraceful child. I had to sell my phone, my computer, everything valuable, to survive while I found a job. I put school on hold for a year to save money then returned and all I could afford was a rundown laptop to work on. I juggled school and a handful of part time jobs until I graduated, and that’s when I got myself a new phone.”

Sehun stops talking then, he breathes deeply once, twice, thrice to steady himself and be able to continue. It’s obviously painful to revisit those experiences yet here he is, opening old wounds for Baekhyun’s sake.

“Oh, my God, Hunnie, I’m so sorry, I had no idea,” How could he? He was so absorbed in his own damn pride and drama that he never stopped to consider his friend might have been going through a tough time. He feels like shit.

“It’s alright, Baek, I know how you must have felt and I understand where you were coming from,” Baekhyun stands up from the chair he was previously seated on and plops next to Sehun, holding the guy’s hand in both of his own. He should at least comfort him after being such an asshole. “I tried to contact you several times but it was fruitless,” ah, right, he had changed his phone number after Minseok and his old personal email had not been opened in years. He’s such an idiot. “Finding you at that school was like a miracle; I was starting to accept the fact that I would probably never see you again and then suddenly you were there, just as beautiful as you were back then. You haven’t changed at all.”

His heart flutters at the compliment. Typical Sehun; Baekhyun could look like an absolute punching bag and he’d still honestly tell him he looked good.

The fluttering intensifies a couple of seconds later when Sehun wraps his long, strong arms around his waist in a hug that is long overdue, his own arms circling his friend’s neck tightly. Without realizing it, he sighs long and shuddery.

This he knows. This he’s missed. This is home.

 

-

 

It’s true what they say: time flies when you’re having fun. It’s been three months since Baekhyun has had Sehun back in his life. Three months. Three months full of happiness and laughter and meals together and time shared with other friends as well as on their own. It’s the happiest he’s been in a long while.

Today, they have plans for dinner. Sehun said it was a surprise but he should dress comfortably. Baekhyun is curious but decides to hand Sehun the reins for the night.

Baekhyun is sitting on his couch waiting to be picked up, and to be absolutely honest he is nervous. It’s not the first time they go out together after their reencounter but this time seems so much like a date that he can’t help stressing. Does he look okay? Is his hair perfect? Should he put on eyeliner? Is he trying too hard? His sweater feels itchy against his skin and his entire outfit feels like it’s suffocating him despite being on the loose fit for a change.

He doesn’t have any more time to fret because the doorbell rings and he bolts up to his feet and rushes to the door answering right away. To hell with his pride. Sehun looks handsome as always with his denim shorts and linen shirt. He also wears a wide smile that makes his eyes almost disappear completely, but that’s an accessory he never loses around Baekhyun.

Once in the car, Baekhyun can’t contain his curiosity anymore, “Hunnie, where are we going?”

Sehun smiles but says nothing. Maybe he should bring out the big guns. He widens his eyes and juts his bottom lip out in what he knows is a terribly cute pout and fixes Sehun with his best kicked puppy face. He is in his thirties but he can still pull off his aegyo, that’s for sure. Sehun glances at him quickly and groans. “Baek, come on! That’s not fair! You know what that face does to me. Stop asking and be patient, you’ll see soon enough.”

Now Baekhyun sulks for real.

Sehun drives and drives and it feels like they’re not going anywhere in particular when suddenly the scenery starts looking very familiar. The houses and cafés and daycares, the school; everything rings a bell and then he knows.  Sehun stops the car in a small parking lot and Baekhyun can do nothing but beam. This is their place, the one from when they were kids, their park.

Everything looks exactly the same, like it’s been preserved from the images they keep in their memory; the tiny pond, the bushes, the swings, the slides, the benches, the big oak tree they used to climb and from which Sehun fell down when he was 13, breaking his left arm in the process.

Sehun holds his hand all the way to a spot on the grass. That’s when Baekhyun notices he has a picnic basket with him from where he pulls a blanket, he stretches it on the grass and helps Baekhyun sit down.

It feels like déjà vu.

They eat in comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s company. The food is gone and the beers are in hand when Sehun speaks again. “Baek, do you remember the last time we came here together?”

Baekhyun smiles and hums his affirmation. Of course he remembers. That night was simultaneously the happiest and saddest of his life. It marked the end of an era.

“Do you remember what we promised?” and now there’s a lump in his throat. He remembers. It was so long ago but he remembers it as if it had been yesterday. His heart speeds up and his palms start sweating. He wants to answer but his whole mouth is dry, his tongue feels like cotton and he can’t seem to form coherent sentences, so he only nods, looking at Sehun with wide eyes, waiting for what’s to come.

“We couldn’t keep the first promise and I know it is my fault,” Baekhyun is holding his breath, “but I would love to keep the second one, if you accept me.”

The second one…

“Baek?” Sehun whispers after a couple minutes holding Baekhyun to his chest. “Promise me something else?”

Baekhyun smiles melancholically at the uncertainty in his friend’s voice. If only he knew he would do just about anything for him. “What is that?”

“If we are both still single and hopeless by the time we are 30, let’s get married,” Baekhyun smiles again and it is not as sad this time. “Promise me?”

The answer to that question is so simple he doesn’t need to think about it. “I promise.”

Right now, the prospect of spending his life with his Hunnie is more than appealing and he can only pray this is a promise they can both keep.

This is a promise he can keep. Everything in their lives has taken them right to this moment, every experience, every heartbreak and every failed relationship. It’s all been for them to realize that a childhood promise can become an adulthood commitment, to know that their teenage selves already knew they were supposed to be together.

“I do.”

 

-

 

Baekhyun can barely unlock his door when Sehun kisses him with such hunger that his knees buckle, the only reason he doesn’t hit the ground is Sehun’s left and right arms holding him around his waist and shoulders respectively.

Sehun pushes the door closed with his feet as his hands busy themselves with Baekhyun’s sweater. It’s a difficult process considering they are stumbling down a narrow hall towards Baekhyun’s bedroom in the dark, with their eyes closed and lips sealed together. They make it work nevertheless and in no time they are tangled together on the bed, fingers exploring every bit of burning skin they can reach.

Baekhyun moans low and throaty, throwing his head back when Sehun kisses his way down the column of his neck, nipping at his Adam’s apple before continuing the wet journey towards his chest. He doesn’t remember being this sensitive with any of his previous partners – not even Minseok – but then again he didn’t have such a heavy and meaningful history with them either, so many years of yearning and longing piled up, so it probably makes sense that his skin ignites with every brush of Sehun’s fingers or lips.

“You are so beautiful like this,” He murmurs against his already stiff nipple, its twin at the mercy of a thumb and index finger. His chest heaves with the difficulty to breathe properly. Sehun is driving Baekhyun crazy. “All for me,” it’s a sensory overload; the feel of his touch, the taste of his tongue when they kiss, the sound of his voice so thick with want, the sight of him nibbling on his hipbone just as his hands get rid of Baekhyun’s pants in one go. If Sehun thinks Baekhyun looks beautiful, he should see himself right now, hungry and debauched all for Baekhyun to enjoy. And he wants to, he wants to give as much as he is receiving but his body is at Sehun’s mercy, he is no longer under his own control.

His thighs tremble and his hips curl up automatically when soft and warm lips suck and nip at the point where his thigh joins his hip, he knows there will be a mark there, a beautiful purple blossom, a reminder of this, of their first time together and Baekhyun can’t wait to see it later.

More kisses are peppered all over his inner thighs as big, strong hands spread them so wide it almost hurts. He is open and vulnerable but the person he is with is the one so he doesn’t feel overexposed or self conscious. He couldn’t even if he tried when there’s wetness engulfing one of his balls and sucking gently, then moving down, teasing down the small patch of sensitive skin leading to his entrance.

It feels like heaven and hell, all at once. Sehun’s tongue is relentless against his hole, pushing inside, flattening and narrowing to coax his muscles to relax. His body is on fire, his cock so hard and wet it might fall off but it’s a torture he loves to endure, especially when Sehun moans, sucking hard and following the action with two fingers, the vibration rumbling through his skin, up his body and back down to settle between his legs. Baekhyun’s hand flies to Sehun’s head, fingers threading in his soft hair, fisting it and pulling at it; he needs Sehun to stop because he doesn’t want to finish unless it’s with him inside.

“Hun… Stop, please… oh, god- Hunnie!” And Sehun obeys, pulling his face away from between Baekhyun’s cheeks and kissing his way up his body again. “Bedside table, top drawer.”

Baekhyun can only pant as Sehun moves on his hands and knees, graceful like a panther, until he’s off the bed, ridding himself of his shorts at the same time he rummages for lube and a condom in the drawer. Baekhyun has enough clearness of mind to admire the man he has in his bedroom, naked and beautiful, all broad shoulders and long legs, tight round ass and gently defined abs. His mouth waters and when Sehun turns to him presenting the items in his hand like a trophy he makes grabby hands at him. Sehun needs to hurry up unless he wants Baekhyun to die of boner induced hypovolemia.

His heart is hammering in his chest, body thrumming with raw desire. His eyes are fixed on Sehun’s long fingers lathering his condom clad cock with lube. The sight is enthralling; he knows that will soon breech him and the thought alone is enough to make him whimper in anticipation. He uses the remaining lube on his fingers to make Baekhyun nice and slick, to check if he’s properly stretched but Baekhyun whines again, urging him to move on because he feels so close already and he needs Sehun.

When he finally pushes the head inside, the stretch makes Baekhyun moan so loud it’s almost a scream. It feels so good, so right, just enough of a burn to keep his mind focused on the spot they are joint together alone, the rest of the world becoming white noise. The first slide in is slow and torturous but he has Sehun on top of him, their chests are pressed firmly against one another, hands entwined, mouths locked in a sensual exchange, so he can withstand.

The kiss is only broken when Sehun starts snapping his hips and Baekhyun has to let all the contented noises come out of his throat.

He is not going to last, what with how full of Sehun he is and the way his cock rubs between their lower bellies. His eyes are tightly shut as he is trying to hold his climax back; he wants this to last forever if it’s possible.

“Baek, look at me,” Sehun grunts as his hips stutter and move faster. Baekhyun opens his eyes and is assaulted by the sight of Sehun’s flushed face, lips parted to let out puffs of air, eyes half lidded and focused solely on him, full of adoration. It’s suddenly too much.

“Hunnie, I’m gonna-” he doesn’t finish his words for Sehun is sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, biting it and licking it to soothe the rough graze of his teeth.

“I know, come for me, love.”

And he does. His eyes stay open because he forces them to. His body tenses and then relaxes before it quivers with the waves of electricity coursing through his every nerve ending. Sehun watches him through it, enraptured, and then thrusts his hips once, twice again before he’s coming, too, with his forehead glued to Baekhyun’s and beads of his sweat falling on Baekhyun’s flushed cheeks.

They are both still breathing hard when Sehun lifts himself up the slightest and brushes the hair off Baekhyun’s forehead with his fingers. He smiles, small and affectionate and then says it. “I love you.”

They fall asleep still connected together, legs tangled, Baekhyun’s face buried in Sehun’s chest, arms thrown around each other’s waists. I love you, too Baekhyun doesn’t get to say it back, but he knows Sehun is aware. Sometimes you don’t need to say the words to show how you feel.

 

-

 

Yes, time flies, people come and go from one’s life but only the important ones manage to stay in your heart even after they leave, regardless of how long they take to return. Only the important ones manage to come back and put together the pieces they took with them. Only the important ones make it hurt so deeply and make you rejoice so much when you’re finally complete again. Time only serves to open one’s eyes to what’s truly meaningful in life.

Promises can be empty; can be taken lightly and even forgotten sometimes. Other promises, though, stick with you and change your life forever.


End file.
